a dirty, and somewhat muddy ‘yes’ to jesus

since the beginning of this race i’ve found myself in dirty, moldy, flooded, stinky, and undesirable situations.

already, i’m a person who doesn’t mind a bit of dust, or a pile of clothes in the corner – messy things are kinda my thing.

but !! finding myself living in a tent yet again, was not on the top of my list when it came to my life dreams. all the more i packed up my big pack and drove back down to gainesville, georgia for the sake of discipleship and furthering the kingdom.

fast forward to a few weeks in and the rain slowly becomes a flooded and muddy mess of people, rain jackets, and sleeping pads set out to dry.

as i hauled my things inside – literally all my things – i heard the Lord whisper deeper depths to this thing called abandonment.

on my race last year i experienced the act of surrender called abandonment. laying down my material things & perspective & intents for the sake of seeing more of the Father in the people and placed around me. it was sweet !

now, going into team leading i knew what abandonment looked like, and even felt like. but i never knew how much further it went & that i would be invited to lay down more of myself and my things.

my team just moved from jaco, costa rica to a christian camp in the mountains called ‘la monta-a’. since coming we’ve been working in mostly task-oriented ministry from scrubbing down bunk beds to sweeping every floor. then, the campers arrived. mud runs & talent shows & walks to the cafeteria.

i’ve found myself looking down at the mess around me more often these days. seeing dried mud stuck to my boots & kids CAKED in dirt for the sake of saying ‘our team won!’.

in the mess around me i see the beauty of a dirty ‘yes’ to the Lord. He doesn’t ask us to come before Him ready & prepared. He wants a willing heart & open hands.

i’m currently transitioning into a new leadership position on my squad and as the process of grief and celebration comes in full swing here are a few words the Lord has given me in learning what a yes to jesus really means – in the dirt & mess of our everyday lives:

run in. open hands, ready to scoop up His people with dirty hands & scabbed knees. your weary heart doesn’t make you less capable. remember what the Father has spoken of you. in failure & messy tears & hurting, aching bones, your heart is good like His. you are a trustworthy friend. you are a bold and gentle leader, the lion & the lamb beat through your feeble steps. let your strength come from above – from the one who created strength itself.

long, tiring days.

hearts gathered close together.

shaky hands.

strength. joy.

a day of celebration headed our way. & when the day of harvest comes,

our first fruits go to Him, & every basket after.